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OT: Barron's columnist Alan Abelson quotes Mark Twain

August 06, 2010

I offer this to the readers for some comic relief.

In this week's Barron's, Alan Abelson quotes Mark Twain:

"October was one of the 'Peculiarly dangerous months to speculate in stocks.' …he [Twain] added that the other peculiarly dangerous months to speculate in were 'July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August and February.'"

and,

"there are two times in a man's life when he shouldn't speculate: When he can't afford it and when he can."

At the end of the column Abelson includes some puns, which BTW are attributed to "a crack stock picker and, even more unusual, one with a sense of humor." Here's a a few of them:

A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.

What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead give away.)

If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.

A lot of money is tainted - taint yours and taint mine.

He had a photographic memory that was never developed.

Though not in Abelson's column, here is one of my favorite quips, which I am unable to attribute since the author apparently is unknown:

"The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."


Rating: 3.7/5 (3 votes)

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